Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I intend to get homeless drunk
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
