So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The power of my boobs compel you
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
