That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
