i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
