Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
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Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
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Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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