Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Vodka?
Forever.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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