I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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