he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
