it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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