so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
