...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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