Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
