oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
