Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
