Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
accomplished twins. life is a go
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
