I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
