You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
