at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Bang-toberfest begins!!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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