Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i just had sex bonerless
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
It's blow job season.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
