if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
