guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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