I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
