Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
