Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaÃt comercial?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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