I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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