Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Randomize
