even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
