can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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