someone get that fucking seahorse.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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