fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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