We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
