It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
