You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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