Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
