i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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