TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Is it penis luge time yet?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
