love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
the condom got lost in my hair
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Randomize
