i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
