Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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