i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
