If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Randomize
