this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
