I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I am full of burrito and curiosity
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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