Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
