hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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