dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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