What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize