Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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