Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.