Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I was like, "um, that's my butthole."

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.

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(425): View more from Washington

He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(845): View more from New York

Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..

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(615): View more from Tennessee

You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.

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(309): View more from Illinois

JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.

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(703): View more from Virginia

I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...

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(773): View more from Illinois

I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.

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