She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.