I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
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Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
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Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.