You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever