Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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