Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
