we have officially lost it.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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