honey bunches of taint.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
