Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize