I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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