just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
