I wanna passion pit in your ass
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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