Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
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Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
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How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
as a side note pls kill me
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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