dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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