If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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