Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
