How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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