He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
