Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
