Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
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Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
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I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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