hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You can't motorboat a personality
Small penises have feelings too.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
