i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
PANTIES FOUND
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
