You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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